For many Americans, this particular election campaign has been going on for far too long. With each passing month, we’ve seen the two pseudopod tribes moaning and applauding their representatives while moving along with galumphing sameness and squishy unison. No matter whether you think the elections has morphed into a contest between two evils, the outcome that clumsily staggers its way into reality is of utmost concern for Americans as well as the rest of the world. With only a few months left of this thousand-year long campaign, and the unwrapping of the skeletons in the closets of our two candidates, one question that’s escaped public scrutiny is “How are our two candidates doing, health-wise?” After some digging, here’s what we know.
Though she doesn’t look it, Hillary Clinton is 68 years old. According to reports, the presidential nominee for the Democrats has also packed up some pounds (30 pounds to be precise) while campaigning. To be fair, being on the road with no choice but to gorge down on pizzas and burritos ain’t easy, even if you’re the former secretary of state. But, while Clinton supporters say that there’s no harm in a few pounds here and there, is it really all just a waist of our time. The answer is sadly, no. There have been reports that Clinton has been suffering from hypothyroidism and needs a blood thinner on a daily basis.
After Clinton had a fall back in 2012, doctors also discovered a blood clot close to her brain. While it’s not life threatening, people who have had a blood clot are usually at a higher risk of getting others. But, apart from having a history of blood clots, Clinton also suffers from blackouts (due to overdrinking), and according to somewhat dubious reports, often wakes up wondering where she is. According to sources, Clinton has suffered from two secret strokes and ignored doctor’s orders to skip campaigning. Our prognosis – not good.
When it comes to the smarmy Donald Trump, the question is not what we know, but what we might not know, as in, what Trump has been keeping from the public. So far, things on the medical front look good for Mr. Trump, who unlike his tax returns, had no qualms releasing his medical report. According to his recently released medical report, Donald Trump is in excellent health. In fact, it would be safe to say that Trump’s health is as robust as his unfiltered spiel. Super rich and super healthy, how does he do it? Well, the secret to Trump’s good health is no secret since Trump has had a long history of keeping off tobacco and alcohol (so now you know why Trump’s wine isn’t a delight to the senses!).
Apart from swearing off alcohol and tobacco products, Trump who is now 69, has lead a seemingly Spartan lifestyle, staying off drugs and has been active in sports such as football, baseball and wrestling. However, it’s not all hearts and flowers for Trump either, further digging found that Trump does have a family history of Alzheimer’s. But, the good news is, he hasn’t shown any of the symptoms…yet!