You’re at the club and the DJ is absolutely pumping bass through the walls, drinks are plentiful, and the vibe is one that is hot, sweaty, and stuffed with dancing. But soon you can feel your vibe start to change for the worse; your friend starts to get very isolated with his girlfriend, and now you are more or less fending for yourself.

You don’t want to just stand there, but how am I supposed to get myself in with one of these girls so that I can have some fun? The first thing you must realize is that approaching women in social situations is first and foremost a game, with rules, fouls, and strategies that result in winning.

If you approach the situation with this mentality, you will not only drastically improve your success rate when approaching women, but you will develop better coping strategies for when you fail, and therefore be less afraid of failing and in turn improve the chances of success.

Pick out a single girl and read her body language

Many girls give up what they’re thinking just by how they present themselves. If a girl is dressed in very revealing clothing and is focusing very intently on her twerking technique, she is obviously trying to gain attention (this does not mean give it to her though!). If a girl seems not very interested in how she is presenting herself, she may have just been dragged there by a friend.

 Prepare a line

Wait until a song comes on that you know very well, or that’s very popular with the crowd. Go through your head what she is wearing, what her movements are, what you could possibly say that would get a quick chuckle. Don’t just fly in dancing or you may get quickly judged (unless you are a really good dancer).

Smile, laugh

Unless your modus operandi is to be a mysterious loner rock star, in which case you will find little success, showing a sense of outgoingness and affinity to fear will score you looks, smiles, and attention, all pluses in the game that could get a girl to want to dance with you. Acting quickly, decisively, and within the vibe of the dance floor will boost your attractiveness and make you seem to be popular; being tentative, stiff, and quiet will hurt your stock value.

In the end, it takes time to learn the game. Many failures later, you may start to see a change, that where girls used to deny you they now are beginning to flash you smiles and maybe even run their hands through their hair when they see you. Keep it up; it’s all part of the game.